MORE

Jan. 2nd, 2012 02:13 pm
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[personal profile] marytng
‎2012’s theme is going to be More.

Does anyone really make New Year’s resolutions? I don’t think I ever did. But for New Year’s Eve 2009 I remember thinking the year’s theme was going to be adventure. I went to Korea and Galveston (on practically a whim, unheard of for me) and made KOPS. Very adventurous, for me.

2010 didn’t have a theme, but a theme was thrust upon it. Change. Lots of change. ...A job, finally, in May. And then kablooey. More change, more stress, more sadness than I ever could have imagined. The only bright spot I remember is getting the job offer in December from the school district. New Year’s Eve 2011 I was thinking about the new job and how fractured the Christmas season had been. No theme was the theme for 2011 and that’s how the year worked out.

Things happened in 2011. Dramatic things, sad things and I’m sure some happy things, but none come to mind right now. Looking back I see that 2011 was a year spent hiding and scared. Hiding from sad things. Holding tight to things I didn’t want to lose. So much of 2010 was about loss, but 2011 I just sat in a corner refusing to move, refusing to let go. I didn’t want to lose anything or anyone else. And maybe I didn’t lose anything, but I didn’t gain anything either. I didn’t change, didn’t improve, didn’t contribute to the people or the world around me. In truth I was stagnant in 2011.
2012 has to be different. I want MORE.

Some of the more should be easy. I want to live more, love more, hug more. Care more, share more, give more, help more. I really want to learn more and teach more. Some of the more will be a little harder. I want to save more, pray more, run more, ride more and inspire more. Some of the more might verge on impossible, but I’m going to try. I want to witness more, listen more, and most of all I want to forgive more. More. I want more.

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